Toy Chest

An excellent lube—Creme de la Femme is the best lube I’ve ever found (and we’ve tried dozens). Hormone-free, alcohol-free, and glycerin-free, it never burns or provokes yeast infection. Best of all from my perspective—it’s virtually tasteless.

A pocket rocket—what the hell is this, you ask? The way to vibrate your way to bliss. This handy little toy may just become your best toy-friend. It’s particularly useful for those having difficulty reaching that first orgasm. Don’t think—just buy one and try it! ☺

A blindfold—this is by far my best recommendation if you haven’t tried using one. A change in perspective may help you switch things up a notch.

A flogger—a mild and useful introduction for those wanting to explore a little BDSM play. The staff at Good for Her tell me this tingler15 is popular for those who want an even gentler entry into kink play.

The smart balls. You’ve probably heard of Ben Wa balls; I prefer these. I sourced a great set at Good for Her:

“LELO’s elegant update on the classic ‘Ben Wa balls’ offers users the chance to mix and match weights. Each set includes two 28g and two 37g beads which can be combined in the silicone harness for a more tailored routine. The balls can also be used individually, as each set has a ‘foundation bead’ with a retrieval cord. Once the beads are inserted, they vibrate gently and quietly with movement. The ABS plastic balls are completely body safe, as is the silicone girdle. Don’t forget to add a dash of water-based lube for easy insertion. A satin storage and travel bag is included. The Luna Beads made it into Cosmo as a toy “You’ve got to try” – check out the article here6! Check out this Popsugar article here7 on how the Luna Beads can help the vagina feel stronger and healthier!”

These are a great way to add some subtle stimulation as part of foreplay. I found them a big help as I slowly relaxed and learned how to accept something inside my vagina.

Bonus: I’m a firm believer in daily Kegel exercising, and these are great for them. Many women report regular pelvic floor muscle exercise increases sensation, improves continence, and can make orgasm easier to achieve. A must for the over fifty crowd.

The massage—Hubster put those marvellous hands to good use during our early days when we did battle with the deadly vaginismus. For those new to massage technique, there’s a YouTube channel9 filled with videos to get you started.

• The touch kit. Put together a kit you can use to experiment with different sensations. I recommend feathers, a wide-tooth comb, sandpaper, lace, velvet, etc. Relax and close your eyes while your partner explores using different devices on various areas of your body.

• Your favorite erotic romance book; after all, it’s said the most sexual organ is our brain. (Try one of mine. I’ve included an excerpt at the end of this column to give a little tease or taste.)